is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
