My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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