I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
