I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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