I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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