i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
