No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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