We're facebook friends in real life
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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