i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
