so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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