i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
