I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
