Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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