Do you still have your period?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
