i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
