I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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