marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
