Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
