You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
