And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
