so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
