You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
