Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
