He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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