If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
