I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
