If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
