She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
