Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
