I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
