why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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