I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Randomize
