Sry I called you an 8
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So much Jack, so little girl.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
