I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
