i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
