honey bunches of taint.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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