I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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