Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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