Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
