if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
