You're so nebulous sometimes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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