I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
