some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
