Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
