wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
