There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Acid is not a monday night drug
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
