I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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