BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
