they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
