Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
