Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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