Your tits are I can't wait for
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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